As with any city in the country, Atlanta has its fair share of tremendously bad nicknames, stereotypes, and de facto ambassadors.
One unfortunate moniker has plagued “The A” for longer than any other, and the people of Atlanta think that it’s time to finally do something about it.
“I don’t care if Jermaine Dupri has been putting it down here since ’83, there is simply no excuse for ever uttering the phrase ‘Hotlanta’ again”, proclaimed angry, suburban soccer mom Bernice Anselmo.
Anselmo was, of course, referring to 2001 hit song “Welcome to Atlanta”, whose video has certainly not held up in the 17 years since its release.
The phrase “Hotlanta” is a most simple play-on-words, combining a dull meteorological fact of life in the southern city with its name.
The problem is how infuriatingly dumb it sounds, particularly to the people of Atlanta.
Just how wholly reviled is the nickname “Hotlanta”? So much so that one of the city’s major breweries, who plays host to thousands of tourists every year, has utilized their own portfolio in an attempt to mitigate use of the phrase.
In one of the city’s seedier institutions, however, this abomination of a nickname has been allowed to fester for decades: The Atlanta Disc Golf Organization.
This weekend marks the 22nd annual “Hotlanta” Disc Golf Tournament, and the 22nd consecutive year of embarrassment for the city too busy to hate.
Taking place just a stone’s throw, (29 miles), from the heart of downtown, those who trekked the 64 miles to Lula, Georgia for “Hotlanta” 2015 will be thankful for the breeze of a commute.
Once again, the community has reacted to the continued use of the name.
“Calling it Hotlanta again in 2018 just proves that the ADGO is more full of horse s**t than Wills Park” proclaimed Matthew Nichols.
Others were simply stunned that this had been allowed to go on for over two decades.
“I don’t get it. Is it so ironic now that it became cool again? Like all of the kids in Little 5 Points with their record players and their skinny jeans?”, inquired Craig Gambel, before muttering something about “back in his day”.
Just a moment later…
“What’s a ‘Little 5 Points?'”, asked the entire Walton County Disc Golf Club, in unison.
The city, not to be embarrassed any further, chose a path of action in creating a team to tackle the inevitable issue of renaming the contest.
Headed by the excitable Rody James Spicoli, this joint task force spent an entire afternoon locked away in the confines of Spicoli’s apartment, hammering out the possibilities for a rebranding.
[Fun fact: The 420th word of this article appears in the above paragraph.]
The renaming options submitted to the Atlanta Disc Golf Association by this indica-inspired initiative were predictably…interesting.
#1: Frisbee Freaknik
Harkening back to the harrowing experience of Freaknik, organizers could shut down Courtland and Peachtree Streets, and set up a temporary course on the road. Obstacles would include Cutlass Supremes on thirties and the ballsiest cops to ever have their picture taken:
Sponsors would be Hennessy, Cadillac, and Def Jam Records.
After party at Magic City.