Given the impending golden age of frolf that will soon be upon us, there have been no shortage of attempts for corporate America to piggyback off of the sport.
This has led to a number of regrettable disc golf-related endeavors in the popular culture, running the gamut from Shakespearean SportsCenter parables to a guy in a sasquatch suit running around maiming mischievous carnivores in the woods.
Now, in another attempt to cash in on this, the sport of the Gods, Walmart has begun selling low quality “disc golf” gear that does little but sully the professionalism that the sport has attempted to cultivate.
Unfortunately, this attempt at blatant exploitation hasn’t only created an issue of angry fervor amidst the frolfing masses, but has also landed at least one of the sport’s biggest fans in the hospital.
Craig Jones of Little Rock, Arkansas was recently hospitalized after a trip to his local Walmart store, ironically in the home state of the Walton family’s claim to fame, after getting a gander at just such a piece of subpar equipment.
Close friend Harley Gottfried recalls the scene:
“Craig turned the corner, and there it was. He let out an exasperated sigh, attempted to mumble something about ‘showing this the guys on Reddit and just fell out”.
The reason for Craig’s sudden fainting spell wasn’t realized until after he had been taken to a nearby urgent care center.
“Mr. Jones had a very rare seizure caused by an excessively forceful rolling of the eyes, which caused the young man to lose consciousness” recalls local doctor Thad Dickel.
“We diagnosed Mr. Jones with a case of profound cynicism and prescribed him bed rest coupled with some mood enhancers”.
When reached for comment, a Walmart spokesman simply asked “but did he buy anything?”.