Hurting for Warehouse Space, Innova Releases Sexton Tour Series Zephyr

Zephyr

As the sport of disc golf continues to grow exponentially in 2018, staple brands such as Innova are facing a new problem:  Diminishing warehouse space.

This has meant a rampant reorganization of the disc golf megalith’s warehouse floor plans on the east and west coast, which led to the inevitable problem of where to actually put all of their Zephyrs.

Zephyr
Actual Size.

“They just don’t fit anywhere” said Keith Slater from Innova West.  “We tried slapping a new stamp on these stupid things, but there’s still only 2 old guys in NorCal who throw ’em”.

Zephyr
Lipstick on a pig?

On the east coast, North Carolina’s Innova shipping manager Jedediah Abercrombie expressed his frustration in his broken Appalachian dialect, simply stating “wot in tarnation?” every time he picked up one of these expansive monstrosities.

The 200 gram, oversized pie-tin used by a majority of players as an emergency drinking bowl for their canine companion has fallen out of favor in recent years, as players have gravitated toward faster discs with far more aggressive names.

In order to remedy this newfound problem, Innova will be announcing the release of the Nate Sexton Tour Series Zephyr.

Zephyr
“This will sell.” – Innova CEO, presumably.

Each Tour Series Zephyr will come complete with an aroma of acetone and a hastily written plea for help from any number of Innova interns who have spent the last 96 hours locked in the break room wiping the stamps off of old stock.

In related news, Innova forklift driver Jack Wheeler was arrested earlier this week after setting fire to 30 boxes of DX Condors.